Don't take anything personal or make assumptions and speak with impeccability while doing your best. A mantra for peace and love.
We've been exploring the 4 Agreements by Don Migual Ruiz in our Kai dance experiences the last few weeks. It's been a great journey into more peace, love and especially embodying love more deeply. Not the "I love my curves" shallow love ( though that is the outer layer) , but the deeper sense of unconditional love for SELF on the inside and to offer others. It's a journey into humbly looking into the mirror of ones mind and weeding out the "parasites" of thoughts that have taken root. A mental cleanse that free's up space to create on the physical level with others.
Here are some insights I've gathered from personal experience and from everyone sharing.
1. Loving deeper into nooks and crannies and taking more responsibility for how our thoughts can create a beautiful loving picture or a drama filled with emotional upheaval is a dance of "making assumptions" that can be a gift when noticed. Being brutally honest about ANY self judgement, noticing when it happens as it may sound like this ( feel into your body as you read this) : " did I do that step right? Whats wrong with me? I don't look that way when I do it. I must not be able to dance. I wish I could practice this longer, is everyone looking at me, these people are strange, my body is too old, fat, thin, out of shape, i have injuries, I don't fit in, I can't dance etc...... " Does it feel familiar?? Have you had these thoughts before? These are stories that create a buzz in the mind, stir emotions, limit creativity, limit free movement, limit friendships, limit joy and more. Worse these self judgements are the judgements we put on others around us. These are STORIES and assumptions about self and other that we've unconsciously picked up and are running our lives day in and out. You have a choice IN THAT MOMENT to NOT GIVE IT ENERGY and keep on. Call on your allies. Put up an inner boundary and DANCE. Test it out. Find a deeper truth to experience.....and re-wire your brain. A deeper inner dialogue and layer of truth would sound like this (feel in to your body as you read this) ........"I am learning a new step. I am doing it differently. The timing feels fast to my body in this moment. I am focused on sensing my body. My body can learn this with repetition." A whole different experience when you create that shift in the moment from assumption to truth. Another great tool to not assuming is asking for clarification and clearing up an "understanding" . It takes courage and vulnerability. The gift is closer relationships that are uplifting and filled with potential versus heavy relationships with lots of "shoulds", power struggles, and co-dependent qualities. Even a fine intuition, especially a fine intuition needs to be honed in to deeper discernment and inner knowing for wisdom. It's good to know when to think " it's not my business...don't need to know that".
2. Speaking with impeccability is how you speak to yourself. The fact is the more you value your time, your energy, your soul the more clearly you speak with self from love, choosing your inner words and words you share with others for their power to streamline YOUR energy, respect another time/energy/soul and to share from love. Silence communicates so much. Words are energy exchange and powerful. Over giving, sloppy exchanges, wasted breath, self worth struggles put on to someone else to life you up all are a sign of which wolf do you feed? The one from love or the one from fear? You have to grab this power and work it. Choosing love takes vigilance, action, and practice. It's worth it. You are worth it. Practice it.
3. Taking things personally is an ego tripping, emotional ride that can be exhausting. Thoughts that may come up in the dance around this include re-hashing an argument, thinking people are watching you ( even if they are, but they aren't), projecting in any way. The term projection in wikipedia means:
Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.
According to some research, the projection of one's unconscious qualities onto others is a common process in everyday life.
It is a gift to yourself to realize that everyone is projecting and it's not about you. To not take on another "parasite" means don't react. Don't stuff down an emotion, and don't project out. It's simpler than it sounds. Just "BE" . Nothing else. Practice doing/acting/feeling nothing. Find neutral. Working with your own unconscious is a gift to the world and it means you look within, take ownership of those sides that fall off the wagon, get reactive, feel abandoned, feel like a victim, feel etc........and love them enough that you recognize them and they don't creep into your life unknowingly and out to others. Recognizing them but not reacting. If an emotion and story comes in notice it as "fuzz" that tells you unconscious stuff is coming up and go back to no concern. It may also help you to recognize if this is your inner child having a fit, your self entitled teen wanting her way or whatever other sides of you get triggered on a regular basis and give them LOVE. Take time out to nurture the hurts without losing power blaming another. Loving all these dark and light sides of self is a way to build a healthy ego that is necessary for life. You got this. Dancing in this space with others who do this work is about as blissful as it gets. You can move any way you like, you are responsible for YOU, and if someone doesn't want to dance near you it's not about YOU....they are taking care of themselves and that's a beautiful thing. Keeping the healthy ego in check heals.
4. Always doing your best. Every dance you have arrived. You have showed up. Practice showing up and give yourself all the positive evidence of your deepest inner listening as you modify movements up or down depending on what you feel. Your best becomes the greatest ally in keeping you healthy and fit for a lifetime. You can this. Are you doing your best?
These agreements are truly "allies" meaning friends....practicing them will lower the reactivity, stress and drama and up the peace, love and freedom in your life. Moving with them in dance is an opportunity to reflect on your beliefs and old stories that inhibit movement and joy and also to practice them with intention with a community.
I am committed to practicing them EVERY CLASS, EVERY DAY. We as Kai teachers take a vow to practice them and that's part of the gift of feeling such a deep safety and love in a community. We welcome you to join us or return to class if you've been away. The allies are there for all of us to use and the power of the dance with these combined elevates all of us. I am deeply grateful to Don Miguel Ruiz for sharing these simple yet profound agreements. There are many books and workshops he's created if you wish to go deeper into that work.