I had the blessing of witnessing an approximately 4 month old baby at play during a musical event recently. Like a magnet to the eye, it was impossible to not watch the variety of emotions and the miracle this baby was experiencing by reaching, waving, rocking, creeping and rolling in it's little body. The amazement and wonder on it's little face as it discovered, in great depth. the magic of being alive in a body in this very moment with all the stimulus from the environment, was contagious. What a great reminder to be more receptive and to celebrate the simplicity and yet magnitude of being present to all life is offering moment to moment.
In our Kai class this morning we finished our dance on the floor, on our backs with knees bent. The instruction was to use one foot to begin pushing into the floor and noticing how the other parts are effected as you slowly push and rock into the body eventually feeling for the momentum as you surrender into a roll. Repeating it just far enough that there is very little effort. In my body as I attempted each repetition, my awareness noticed first the chain like connection of my foot all the way up to my head. Each time I noticed where I "over efforted" and needed to let go more. Each time I went a little further into the roll and a deep relaxation and joy filled me at this simple movement and the possibilities that opened up mentally, spiritually, emotionally. My awareness unplugged so much from "being the teacher" or wondering what others were doing and it felt like I was in an alternate universe. My mind swam into the bliss I experienced watching this baby last weekend and the miracle that it's all in my body at this moment. As I switched the exercise to the other leg I felt my tendency to want to grasp on to the bliss or re-create what i felt on the other side. It took noticing this and releasing into the moment deeper for a new path of movement to appear that still resembled rocking into rolling.
This sense of "newness" in my body, even though I had done the experiment on the other side was the doorway into feeling alive. Having no expectations and complete openness of the new side took deeper relaxation. My left side revealed some stories and feelings associated with "letting go". As I rocked it took a bit more inner shifting around relaxing into what was happening to finding that sense of momentum and connection into the roll to truly let go into the moment. I weeded through the thoughts of judgement, my bodies need to effort automatically, and desires to interfere with the simplicity of simply noticing. In movement this process is called "somatic experiencing" and it's a way to allow the bodies language of experience to dialogue with itself. It's how we learn thru the body.
After class, one student spoke about how when she was in that moment of rolling over she had an epiphany of what a miracle it is to "roll over" for a baby. They see adults walking and can learn visually by seeing and copying....but rolling over is not like that. It takes experimenting and feeling something they've never felt before, taking the chance and moving into the unknown that sometimes feels good, sometimes not.....The feedback they receive with each attempt gradually building up their courage and comfort and the flow to roll over, and over and over again until that sense of patterning and curiosity to move more upright into sitting becomes the new game. What a great metaphor for life, right???
The brilliance in this wisdom is that we can access this state of wonder at any moment, with whatever is happening and the more we practice the depth of witnessing the "roll" ( roll with it? complete acceptance? ) the more momentum builds not from a previous pattern but from a deeper awareness of peace and the miracle of life could perhaps become a more constant state. The dance becomes one of being deeply in the unknown over and over again. Not caught in the mind and patterns but rather approaching the moment with the innocence and wonder of a baby feeling his body reach, push, pull, rock and roll in the moment. Perhaps living a life filled with miracles begins with not knowing and ends with letting go again and again throughout life.