There is so much truth in being really good at surrendering......surrendering as in the opposite of "attaching". A complete acceptance is not a passive act of "non-doing" but an active phase of letting go of that which isn't serving you. Be it sugar, alcohol, carbs, negative thinking, compulsive behavior or a relationship. It could even be pain, a busy mind, resistance of all kinds that create disharmony. Maybe you've just surrendered into a place of softness and allowing the emotions that were held in a dream to wash thru you so you can dream anew with more clarity. Surrender is an act of saying " I can't do this any longer and need to walk away, stop, end, or release what is bothering me". Surrender is also the first act to allowing joy ( in Kai we define joy as your natural state of being, your body recognizing itself) to reveal itself. Surrender is the bridge into feeling okay, happy, open, optimistic, and eventually to realizing your self as a being free. Sometimes, however, getting across that bridge can be tough and a cycle on returning back to surrender becomes a never ending loop. Here are some tips on getting over the bridge and looking back with a smile both in your practice of Kai ( or any form of dance) as well as in your life as a dance.
1. Clarify exactly what it is in this moment you'd like to surrender. Define it. Feel the feeling of it. What is the attachment to it?
example: When I start to move my body I feel pain. The pain is in my right outside hip. It's about a 6 on a scale 1-10, feels hot. It has the color red and feels dense, throbbing at times. It's moving upward. I want to release my need to hang on or change it, release any stories I associate with it in my head, release the emotions of feeling victimized from it and release the thoughts that I have to do it alone. I release the thought that my body should or shouldn't have this sensation. I surrender by cognitively saying "whatever this is about, I accept and soften....."
example: When I move my spine I feel self judgement like I should be able to move more that I do. I compare myself to others and when I notice how stiff I am I start to feel deflated, and like I don't belong here. I focus so much on the stiffness I get stiffer. I surrender into the moment any thoughts that anything should be different than what it is, it just is. I surrender any comparison of myself to others.
example: I surrender that reaction urge I get for sugar or something sweet. The feeling of "incomplete" unless I have that bite of a cookie ( or the whole bag!), That uncomfortable feeling of "needing" or "wanting" something on a regular basis to feel okay until the next urge for more comes. I surrender into the discomfort of facing what is underneath the "want" .....I surrender into the investigation of seeing if that "want" has a deeper "need" I may be able to serve in other ways.
2. Acceptance and the witness. After you've surrender just wait. Wait and Notice with more mindfulness than ever. Be with the discomfort, ache, or distraction. What's happening in your body? Is there a change in breathing? Without attachment to things having changed, it's likely that they will. Staying Non attached become the observer or "witness" of your own process of "in between".
3. If Joy is present notice that without trying to make it increase, just feel it's pulse, it's voice, it's sensation. Joy is the state of "being" without attachment to an emotion. It's not transcendence, or elation. It's not a smiling happy face, though it could have that effect sometimes. It's a much deeper state of being that supports you in feeling "okay" and bridges you into higher states of being like bliss.
4. Once you've tuned into Joy ( which IS there always, under that surface waiting for you ...btw), you've developed a neural pathway into accessing being-ness. Now you can play with "expanding". Where does joy want to go? Can you move it into an area that has pain? Can you sustain it and let it "serve you or others?". Joy has a natural cycle of expansion if you can allow it. Surrender and ALLOW joy to do what joy wants. Joy serves the greater good thru it's expansion, it's natural. Bliss is a larger universal state of being and transforms everyone in it's sphere. It's contagious in the best possible way. Tips:
a. be patient and let your practice be your practice without "trying to get anywhere"
b. be-friend bliss if it visits but don't "white knuckle it" .....just welcome it with a smile.
c. know that your journey to bliss has a sacred unfoldment that will help others around you. there is a purpose for it and it's powerful medicine.
d. let bliss guide you. as Joseph Campbell once said " Follow your bliss and you'll never regret it."
It is thru this same process you may connect with your "Higher sources" or God or whatever it is you connect with that offer support. A healthy attachment to things that serve you is a great replacement as you re-direct your focus to where you want it to go. This is an act of self love and self empowerment. Finally, affirm your ability, every single time you go over the bridge and feel joy, bliss and healthy connections.....and be in gratitude for the gifts life brings daily.......LIfe really IS good.